It’s the tale of our generation but also so many before it: Everyone wants a hand job. You can apply everywhere and face inevitable burnout and disappointment, or you can find a hand job that’s an investment in yourself. They are out there, and I’m the proof. Because I don’t give hand jobs, I give hand opportunities.
Like so many things in life, the ease with which a hand job is secured is dependent on myriad factors. There’s education (easier to get a hand job on a campus than online), networking abilities, and of course that more nebulous category — bulge. But in a crowded market with limited hand jobs available, you have to know how to spot a hand opportunity when you see it, and that’s where I come in with a hand opportunity that will make you send your old resume directly to the shredder.
A hand job is something you show up for: You sit down, you do as you’re told, and at the end, you get to go home and eat pasta. That’s all fine and good, but what if there could be more to it? With me, a hand job is more than just punching in and out, though there is still punching involved (don’t knock it till you try it). It also grants exposure to my strong and well-moisturized hand and will open the door to more and more hand jobs from other bosses due to the relaxed and confident energy you will exude afterward.
But a hand opportunity isn’t something I just give to you – you also have to create it. One of the biggest differences between a hand job and a hand opportunity is your attitude, so come in well hydrated, enthusiastic, and also be willing to tap in if my hand gets tired or I want to grab a snack.
Learn the difference between a hand job and hand opportunity, then look out for rare employers like me who are using our skilled and nimble hands not just on your junk, but also to open doors. And if I’m not hiring, do what so many motivated young people do today and work for yourself!
