Hands can be used for many pleasant things, such as holding other hands, clapping, or catching birds. Unfortunately, hands can also be used for holding drugs. A nice, hot cup of tea can be a great replacement for drugs. However, swapping the two may be more difficult than it sounds, so here’s a step-by-step guide on how to use your hands for holding a nice cup of tea instead of drugs.
- Put down the drugs.
The first step to making sure your hands hold something aside from drugs is to put down the drugs. Put the drugs someplace like on a table or the floor, basically anywhere aside from your hands. Great job! You’re now no longer holding drugs. However, your hands are now empty so you may feel the immediate need to pick up something else, since apparently you’ve been biologically programmed to require constant tactile stimulation. That sucks. But, just know your hands definitely have other purposes aside from holding drugs – promise!
- Pick up a cup of tea.
Now that you’ve used your hands to put down the drugs, use them once again to pick up a cup of tea. Hold the tea with both hands like you’re small and cold. Aw! The warmth should trick your brain into feeling satisfied without drugs. Pro tip: When you pick up the tea, you can stop as soon as you’re holding the cup right around your chest area. There’s no need to be an overachiever and continue raising your hands higher and higher until the cup is above your head. Make things easy for yourself, you tea-holder!
- Allow your hands time to adjust.
When you’re holding the tea at first, your hands might be like, “What the fuck is this?” but don’t worry. They just need to adjust. With time, they will recognize the strange cup in your hands as fun, rather than trash because it’s not drugs, so give your hands a few minutes to really feel the ceramic of the cup and the warmth of the tea. Then, progressively hold the tea for longer periods of time. Eventually, you will be able to hold the tea for up to a full day instead of drugs. That’s right! It really is possible.
- Hold the tea forever.
Though this step is optional, the best choice is probably for you to hold the tea forever. After all, who knows what you will pick up if you put it down? Maybe a disease, a stray cat or most likely, more drugs again. Well, no thanks to that! Just hold the tea, and then continue holding it for the rest of time. You should be so proud of yourself!
If your hands have a problem with holding things aside from drugs, follow this helpful guide to put a cup of tea between them instead. It’s a simple, effective way to drink a hot beverage while also remaining sober!
