Figuring out how to interact with your ex after you break up and get back together after a drunken hookup can be tricky to navigate. Is it a good idea to try to remain friends now that you’re dating? Most people would say no; that it’s too risky to be friends with someone you’re dating who you recently dumped. But if you and your ex decide it’s worth trying to preserve the friendship now that you’ve gotten back together, here are some tips for moving forward.
Take some time apart.
Once you break up, then get back together, then decide to be friends, you’re probably going to need some time apart. If the memory of the breakup and subsequent reunion is still fresh, it’s okay to spend some time on your own in order to start the healing process. This period is crucial in laying the foundation of a new friendship with your ex-ex, giving you both the space you need to be alone now that you’re back together and want to stay friends. Wait until your feelings for your ex have subsided a bit before you try to see each other as friends once you start seeing each other again.
Try hanging out in groups first.
Be patient when trying to pursue a friendship with your ex now that you’re back together. Give both yourself and your not-anymore-ex the breathing room to cope with the residual awkward feelings that inevitably result from getting back together by incorporating some other pals into the mix. This should keep things friendly, while also letting everyone know that you two are hitting it again.
Don’t talk about new flings.
There’s no lower blow than rubbing the fact that you’re having sex with other dudes in your ex’s face after you break up, except perhaps rubbing it in his face when you’re back together. Don’t flaunt your sexcapades or bring Tinder matches around when you’re hanging out with your current/former ex. Keep your personal life private, trust us—it’ll make this whole transition easier.
Set boundaries.
If you feel that you have to keep your romantic relationship strictly platonic in order to protect your friendship now that you’re romantically involved again, set clear boundaries to keep your newly intimate relationship free of confusing and messy intimacy. The last thing you want is for old romantic feelings to flare up again after getting back into a relationship with him.
Be happy for him.
It’s hard to let go of the future that you imagined for you and your ex; a future where he disappeared and you dated someone taller. The hardest part of breaking up is watching your ex move on with you again. Now that he’s trying to pick up the pieces and find a fresh start, try to be happy for him and his new life with you. Accept that your future with a smarter, nicer guy is simply not to be.
Establishing a friendship after you get back together with your ex can be tricky, and these things can’t be rushed. But just because your intimate relationship ended and then recommenced doesn’t mean your friendship has to be over. Take your time developing a companionship with your ex-ex. Remember the saying: If you love something, let it go, then fuck it, then take it back.
