How to Stay Hidden During Sex

Tips to Hide Your Average Face

You’ve played your cards right, gotten past the fifth date, and kept him wanting more. Now it’s finally time to show him your moves in the bedroom. But – eek! One look at your body and he’s sure to run for the hills! Don’t stress. Here’s how to please your man without ever having to be seen:


Love is Blind(folded).
Use a blindfold. Seem obvious? It should. Any girl with a half a stretch mark needs one of these in her arsenal. Not only does a blindfold keep you blissfully hidden, but he’ll think he’s found a real “explorative” lover. It’s a win-win!


Hottie Be Haunting – Ghost it up.
Role-play is a surefire way to spice things up, and when it comes to hiding yourself, we’re all about fulfilling his ghostly fantasies. Just take a white, flat sheet, and cut two holes for your eyes (and one for your mouth), drape it over your head, and get ready to send your boo to another realm. You’ll be perfectly hidden, and he’ll brag to all his friends about what a spooktacular lover he’s got.


Dr. Who? Blind him!
Whether it was your professor or your best friend’s dad, you’ve always wanted to bang a distinguished man in glasses. Now’s your chance to live that fantasy and completely incapacitate your lover’s eyesight. Just visit any drug store for a maximum-prescription pair of reading glasses, or borrow a pair from your church’s lost-and-found. If he starts to get a headache, tell him to close his eyes – you wouldn’t want him to ruin the fantasy.



Queen of the Night – Paint Your Windows Black.
You say “daylight,” but all we hear is “cellulite”. Nothing ruins a daytime roll in the hay like a blast of sunshine to your thighs. If you want to feel totally uninhibited at any time of day, try painting your windows black. You won’t disappear, but you’ll be as hidden as the light bulbs that are now locked in storage.


Go Victorian!
Nothing says naughty like a long-sleeved, high-necked Victorian- era gown and an opaque veil. If you’re having a fat day, Jane Eyre on the side of caution with a sexy corset to add an extra layer of hiddenness. It takes so long to get off, you’ll be able to get him off before ever having to expose yourself.


We all have those days when we just don’t want to be seen. But that doesn’t mean our sex life should go to hell! Try these techniques to remain totally invisible and you’ll be as confident as ever!