You were all ready to ride that D—until you realized you were on the rag! Suddenly, your plans to spend a comfortable evening hitting it from every angle were ruined. After all, everyone knows that having sex on your period could do horrible things to your man, possibly even killing him. Right?
It’s hard to say. While we’ve all heard the urban legends about cute dudes tragically dying after having period sex (especially during the full moon!), there’s been almost no published research on the subject. That’s because researchers typically ban menstruating women from entering the laboratory, lest they contaminate the samples with their period blood or flush a Super-Plus tampon down the toilet.
So, sadly, our ignorance and fear lives on. And trust, nothing kills his boner faster than the thought of potentially dying from period sex! Womp womp.
In an informal Reductress survey of sexually active men, 94% of respondents either agreed or strongly agreed with the statement, “I’d rather just get a blowjob and never hear the word ‘period’ ever again.” As Quentin, a 27-year-old PR assistant for Toys “R” Us, explained, “My life is too valuable to risk. Also, blood down there? That’s pretty gross!”
Still, some fearless men are willing to risk everything—their life, their health, and the 300-thread count sheets their mom bought them—for the chance to grind up against your bleeding va-jay. So brave! (These men were more likely to take the gamble if the menstruating woman in question were a long-time girlfriend or if they were feeling insecure after an inexplicably sexless week at Burning Man.)
Thousands of men have survived period sex, though they often experience unanticipated side effects, such as loss of libido, hot dog cravings, and, most tragically, decreased fantasy football team performance. Yipes!
Sable Ray, a celebrity midwife, sums the risks up perfectly: “It’s unlikely that sex during your period will straight up kill him. More likely, it will make him wish he were dead, because period blood is some nasty-ass shit.” Thanks for the clarification, Dr. Ray!
But don’t head out to your menstrual hut just yet. Today’s sex-positive lady shouldn’t have to cancel a perfectly good booty call simply because Aunt Flo came to town and made that town yucky, polluted, and inhospitable to visitors!
Instead, simply spend the week crouched next to the bed, letting him come into your mouth while making sure none of of your fluids get on him. After a few minutes of impeccable oral, he’s sure to forget all about the gross uterus lining being shed into your panties, which means you can finally relax—and thank Goddess for that!