Recovering from a breakup takes time and patience, especially when you’ve already had two wrecking ball relationships this year and your heart is now made of dry rot. So here’s a quick list on how to make that broken mess into something whole, new, and beautiful again, and then later, again, and then probably once again after that, good Christ. This again?
1. Take Time for You Again
Indulging in yourself is healthy, so after a breakup (or THREE), don’t judge yourself for doing you! Get a massage, buy a fancy pair of shoes, treat yourself to a nice dinner–anything that’s leftover on your “self care” list that you didn’t already do during the Harry fallout and Jerome aftermath earlier this year. Related: Why you? Why always you? This is just so exhausting.
2. Reach Out to Loved Ones Again
It is tempting to isolate yourself and feel that no one will fill the void of your (now THREE) ex(es), but make sure you talk out your feelings with those closest to you. The kind word of a friend may not seem like much now (or in January or June, the last times you reached out), but in the long run, can help you reground and love yourself (for the third time, you can’t believe it’s all happening again, why are you so unlovable?).
3. Try Something New Again
Your brain can grow sluggish by doing the same activities everyday, so explore something you’ve never gotten to do! Don’t watch movies that remind you of Harry. Haim was Jerome’s thing. Eating snacks? Didn’t Dave like that? OH WAIT, what about snooker? Yes, there we go! Finally try snooker! And if you hate it, maybe you are a “bad picker” after all.
4. Self-Affirmations (More of Them)
Sure “you are enough” and “you are a worthwhile person” worked for a little while, but that isn’t paying the rent anymore. So here’s a quick affirmation Mad Libs for when you’ve run out of special ones:
“YOU ARE MORE _____ (adjective used to describe money) THAN YOU THINK. BELIEVE IN YOUR ABILITY TO _____ (verb used for hospital patients)!”
5. Get Away For a While Again
The weeklong London “Fuck Harry” fest was sort of helpful, as was the two-week Parisian “Everyone Is Hotter Than Jerome” tour. So what about a “Dave Cheated On Me There Are No Good People In This City” escape to Tokyo? You’re probably out of vacation days, so it’s gonna need to be somewhere in weekend-distance. Maybe a bus trip to D.C.? Wait, D.C. sucks. Maybe go to a museum for a day? Museum is boring. Maybe buy something at the coffee cart outside your office? Yeah, sure! Maybe a muffin is your boyfriend? Maybe muffin never leave you or lie? Maybe muffin give you child?! Put muffin in heart hole and make a child. No cry. Not here.
Breakups are challenging, especially when you are haunted by three distinctly different ones with men you gave your heart to and whose memories exist as stains on 99% of your favorite places around the city. So just try to rebuild—you’ll need your strength for the next man-shaped life-hurricane!
