Falling in love is exciting and scary – you’ve found someone you’re compatible with, someone you laugh with, someone who makes you feel understood. And above all, you can’t get enough of being around them. It’s a beautiful time, but it’s still normal to have reservations about going all in. Are you really ready to commit? Is there some magic ingredient missing from the mix? The answer to that question relies on your ability to look past a character flaw that is really no fault of your boo. Here’s how to love her even though she’s not in the hallowed band, boygenius.
Focus on the good qualities she does have.
Okay, so your gf’s not a part of the staggeringly cool indie rock group comprised of Julien Baker, Lucy Dacus, and Phoebe Bridgers. In all fairness, most of us aren’t. Instead of focusing on this shortcoming, take stock of her admirable qualities. Is she passionate about helping members of her community? A great artist? A pastry chef? Any of these are pretty cool. They’re not combined-forces-of-three-independently-brilliant-queer-musicians cool, but whatever, neither are you. Get a grip.
Be vulnerable with her.
It’s hard to fall in love when you’re bottling up other emotions. Be vulnerable and let her into your confusion. Explain that you want to make this work but you’re struggling to adjust your expectations as you always imagined yourself ending up with at least 1/3rd of boygenius despite all members being public figures who don’t know who you are. This information is likely to worry her, but if she sticks around, that’s all the more reason to believe she’s the one. You could even try suggesting you guys watch their Tiny Desk concert together…
Encourage her to become a member of boygenius.
If you’re still not able to accept her not being in boygenius, then take an active role in your fate and get her in the band. They probably need a sad flute or some shit, right? Support her journey by making her one of those star-patched blazers and offering to film her audition video. There’s a 99% chance she’ll leave you before you can hit record, but you could also end up dating boygenius’ melancholy flautist! Maybe you can have everything.
So use these tips to learn how to love her even though she is simply not a member of boygenius, or keep chasing the impossible dream for the rest of your days. Either way, we support you and think you’re making a grounded and viable decision.
