How to Frantically Throw All Your Clothes in a Corner Before He Comes Over

So there’s a dude on his way to your house. Lucky you! Despite the fact that you had all day to put your clothes away and tidy up your room, you didn’t and now he’s going to be here in five and there’s barely a path to walk to your bed due to the hundreds of random clothing articles strewn about your floor. Don’t fret! Here’s how to frantically throw all your clothes in a corner before he comes over.


Don’t Think, Just Do

He could literally buzz your door any minute, so there’s no time for logic. Instead of trying to come up with a speedy smart plan to effectively put things away, just start moving. Grab anything you can (a pile of shirts, your crumpled up wet towels, etc.) and shove them literally anywhere. Throw it all in a closet, or make it one big pile with the grossest stuff hidden at the bottom! Stuff it under the bed which you have literally never fucking swept! Everything you own is disgusting so just compile it so you can finally focus on fucking!



Remember: Quantity over Quality

If you think you’re going to have time to fold you’re a bitch in trouble. Sorry but shit is getting real and there’s no time to consider the long term! This is not about making your room look nice; it’s about making your room look a little less bad. Think quantity over quality, especially since nothing you own is of quality due to the fact that you treat absolutely everything you own like garbage! But who cares, cause you’re about to get completely railed!




Learn From This Experience

This is not the first time you’ve found yourself frantically shoving your clothes in secret places so that the person you want to bang doesn’t catch wind that you’re a hot mess. Maybe this is a sign that you should change your ways and finally learn to keep your room clean? But also this is kinda working so no big deal! Keep calm and carry on fucking on top of all your sweaters!


Try out these tips next time you have to toss all your belongings in a small cabinet right before a hot dude gets to your house. It’s crazy how hard you’re working to look clean considering his apartment has always looked and smelled like a dog’s butthole! Hell yeah!