How To Cry More Efficiently

woman crying at desk

You’re a busy woman with a lot of overwhelming emotions to squeeze into the day. Here are some tips to get out that sad without having to waste your lunch hour:


Cry During Commercials: It may seem more efficient to fast-forward through commercials but not if your bubbling, just-under-the-surface emotions are ruining your viewing pleasure.


Get Some Allergies: People with allergies are allowed to walk around with their eyes all puffy and weepy for days at a time. Keep a bottle of antihistamine on your desk at work to justify any cry time. Just try to tone down those sobs to tears and a light whimper.


Stub Something: Your body provides an ample amount of limbs and other body parts to harm at a moment’s notice. Take aim at a coffee table and let your shins do the walking! This is a great way to get those tears rolling fast when you’ve only got a few minutes to spare.


Cry in the Office Bathroom: This is the most popular place to drain a duct or two, for its privacy and convenience. You can take your time, and find solace in the fact that you’re getting paid to pout! Remember: Regular bathroom criers have this down to a tight two-minute sob session followed by a light splash of water on the face. You have a schedule to keep!


Focus on the Positive: You can’t think of anything? See? Doesn’t that make you want to cry immediately? You’re getting the hang of it!


Hopefully these tips will help you cram those cries into your busy life. Weep and dash, ladies!