When you’re riding a dick, you want to feel confident, enthusiastic, and alive. But it can be difficult to keep your vibe where you need it when you know how easy it would be to switch positions and continue fucking while fully lying down. With the following tips, you can summon the power and stamina to bounce on his dick with the relentless energy and rhythm of the iTunes logo when you plug your phone into your laptop.
No matter what you’re trying to do in life, the first step is generally to hydrate, and ceaseless ball bouncing is no exception. If you want your muscles to perform at their maximum potential, you have to make sure your cells are hydrated enough to maximize output and avoid fatigue. So slam a glass of agua before you hop on that didgeridoo (erect penis), and soon you’ll be bouncing as robotically and unabatingly as the iTunes logo in the Finder bar anytime you plug your phone into your computer. Oh, that persistent little fucker. Just up and down and up and down and up and down. That will be you!
If you want to sex bounce with the constancy of the irrevocably awakened iTunes logo, you’ll need sturdy quads and glutes, so start bulking now! You’ll figure out how; just Google it or something. Once you have, you’ll be ready to vertically bob on his dick until he says, “Enough of that!” at which point you will stop because unlike the iTunes logo, you understand consent, boundaries, and the fact that sometimes it’s just enough already. We see you. We see you, iTunes logo. Do you think you could just have a little notification? A tiny little alert that we can see and click on when we’re ready? Or is that not your speed? You’d rather bounce up and down forever and demand our attention when we’re just trying to charge our phones in a goddamn coffee shop? Well FINE. At least we can learn something from you, and that’s tireless sexual endurance :)
Do not mix it up.
A lot of sex advice out there will tell you that the best way to maintain a position is to switch up variables like angles, speed, and rhythm. This is the exact opposite of what you should be doing. There’s a reason the iTunes logo can bounce forever and never stop; that is its one thing. If you want the flow state, the hypnotizing monotony is the price you pay. Bounce hard, bounce fast, bounce relentlessly. (For as long as both parties offer enthusiastic consent). Then when you finally cum, offer to update to version 17.224.
So make sex exhausting and unrelenting with these tips to bounce on his junk like that desperate, pesky, kind of hot (? maybe we just convinced ourselves of that by writing this piece, unsure) iTunes logo when you plug your iPhone into your computer. These moves will make him want to show you in Finder for life.