His Favorite Whiskeys for Whiskey Dick

Let’s face it: Most hookups require a little liquid courage! Unfortunately, this means he won’t be able to make it past the foreplay stage, which is why it’s even more important that the booze was worth the trouble! Here are his favorite whiskeys for a night of apologies and the promise of trying again in the morning.


Jack Daniels

A classic Tennessee whiskey for a perfectly disappointing boner! Does he really prefer the taste of Jack, or does he order it because it’s the only whiskey he knows? Either way, he’ll throw back five of these before he gets the courage to take you home, and boy will it almost be hot!



Well Whiskey

He doesn’t care about brand or quality—this guy just needs his whiskey! Lucky for you, he has the same approach to women, and you’re the generic label he wants tonight. Let the stale aroma of bottom-shelf alcohol fill your nose as you guys “mutually” decide to stick to everything up to and including third base.



A proud Scot, he is—at least after all that Johnnie Walker Red he’s been drinking! Unlike normal whiskey, Scottish whisky is called “Scotch”. Either way, this strong lad’s little warrior definitely won’t be ready for battle tonight.




He ran out of whiskey and it’s the only thing left in his freezer, but this bar staple will keep his dick at half-mast just the same! You might as well have some too, cause this night is gonna be hugely disappointing!


Next time you meet him for drinks, make sure he orders a few of these for the ultimate anti-climactic night! He may not stay erect, but you’ll forever cherish those fuzzy, partial memories during the hangover breakfast that you will pay for because he forgot to close out his tab and left his debit card at the bar.