For most women, the notion that women must wear bras is so internalized that they never dare to question whether or not they actually want or need to wear a bra. But not me! Despite years of social conditioning, deciding to ditch my bra was an easy, natural extension of my feminism—mainly because I have the flawless, perky tits of a 16-year-old ballerina.
Can you believe that I used to feel so embarrassed by my literally perfect breasts that I would hide them inside a bra?! Not anymore! I’m proud to say I finally feel empowered to eschew the restrictive confines of bras and take a bold political stance: my immaculate, inoffensive breasts will not be silenced.
On my first day leaving the house without a bra, I was super worried that people would be able to tell that my buoyant yet firm breasts were unimpeded beneath my top. Luckily, I was able to overcome my anxiety by remembering that the only thing to fear is fear itself and also that my breasts are widely regarded as completely flawless. Like you can’t even tell that I’m not wearing a bra and actually; it’s kind of hotter then when I am wearing one.
All bodies are beautiful and all breasts are sublime; and just because mine just happen to be widely regarded as having the ideal shape and size, it doesn’t make me any less brave. The only thing firmer than my breasts are my convictions, so I would probably go braless even if my breasts were merely above average.
Now that I’ve experienced the liberation of bralessness, I just don’t get why some women still wear bras. Some women say that their breasts swing about painfully and uncontrollably during light physical activity, to which I say, have you tried having breasts that are naturally high and tight? I’ve found that it helps.
Beyond the numerous political and aesthetic reasons I don’t wear a bra, studies have shown that bras actually damage the natural development of your breasts, hamper circulation, and reduce breast tone over time. These are risks that I just can’t take with the body that I love because it is already perfect.
Sisters, why deal with uneven straps, annoying clasps, and spending all day in rabid anticipation of finally releasing your pillowy prisoners from their fabric jail? Let’s skip the bra altogether and liberate our breasts! If my A-plus tits can do it, so can yours, whatever they look like. Hope they’re good ones!
