So the guy you’re dating insists he’s a DJ! While you should support his hobby, there’s a fine line between him being a thoughtful and original curator of music, and him spinning tracks on a $1,000 turntable he doesn’t have the skills to justify owning. But if he’s truly passionate and you want to try encouraging him, here are some half-hearted ways to indulge his side hobby as a DJ.
When he tells you he’s a DJ, nod but don’t smile.
When he tells you he’s a DJ, nod to acknowledge you heard him, but don’t smile. If you smile, it might read as too approving, and he’s already gotten enough of an ego-boost from declaring himself a musician. Instead, try a slight head tilt and an ambiguous “mhm” to indicate you accept his artistic pursuit. This way, you get to be supportive without betraying your true opinions! However, do feel free to ask him why he feels the need to wear those giant headphones around his neck all the time.
When he shows you a mix, pat him on the shoulder and say, “It’s good.”
When he shows you a mix he made from cut-up Soundcloud samples, pat him on the shoulder and say, “It’s good.” There’s no need to tell an outright lie like, “You’re really talented at this!” but you still want to stay away from shutting him down completely. Telling your guy he’s essentially a jukebox with transition sirens could lead to a fight, whereas a gentle touch and vaguely affirmative words allows your relationship to remain intact. Wow, you’re a great girlfriend!
When he creates a persona like “DJ Oxy,” tacitly refuse to call him that.
When he gets really into his craft and creates a persona like “DJ Oxy,” tacitly refuse to call him that. Restrain yourself from asking questions like, “Why…” and instead make a point of constantly referring to him by his given name. This lets your man know you care about him enough not to deny his hobby, while also leaving open the idea that you don’t respect it all, because he’s not good enough at it to rationalize the self-admiration he’s starting to display. Being a good partner is all about choosing what to call out and what to let go!
When he invites you to a show, attend but text in a corner.
When he invites you to show he’s DJing at his college friend’s house party, attend but spend the whole time texting in a corner. After all, what else were you supposed to do at this rager filled with horny twenty-somethings you don’t even know? Texting your friends behind a potted plant seems like a much better option than standing behind him in the DJ booth, especially since it would just make you look like an accessory to him. Stay until you can reasonably fake an emergency, then make your way out. Nice! You’ve been as supportive as you need to be and now you’re done.
Break up with him, and say it’s you.
The most caring choice you can make at this point is to break up with him, and say it’s you. He’s clearly got a lot going on, and you don’t like any of it, so let him down gently and blame yourself. That way he won’t feel discouraged about continuing to pursue his one true passion as a disc jockey.
Everyone man deserves to feel supported by his girlfriend, even when he’s not very good at what he’s doing. So follow this guide to show him you’re willing to do the bare minimum to humor his interests until you just can’t stand it anymore.
