Guided Meditations For When He Tells His Ayahuasca Story

Meditation is an important part of everyday self-care and helps to center you when your career obligations and family responsibilities overwhelm you. It’s also an important tool for finding balance when he starts telling you his long, annoying Ayahuasca story. Whether it’s a romantic partner, a boss, or a friend of a friend you get stuck with at the bar, a man’s story about an all-night hallucinogenic ceremony in Peru isn’t something you can safely listen to without mental preparation and an appropriate plan for breathing your way through it. Follow these steps to remain grounded and make his Ayahuasca story as bearable as possible.



This story will be over eventually. As much as you want to stop breathing right now, just keep breathing at a sustained, calm pace. Not only is fainting dangerous, he’ll definitely start the story over again. He’s already explained that Ayahuasca is a traditional spiritual medicine used in ceremonies among the Indigenous peoples of the Amazon basin and can really open you up to your own true self if you just try it once, and you just can’t afford to hear that all over again.


Center Your Thoughts

Yes, he is going to cover the entire time before he took the Ayahuasca when he met his “guru,” which cannot possibly be the right word for what he’s talking about, but he won’t stop, so just go with it. Gurus aren’t a thing in Peru, right? Actually, let that thought fall away as he corrects himself and says “shaman”. Just stay focused on the idea that this will all pass soon.


Redirect The Experience

Mention You Saw That Episode of Chelsea Does Where She Does Ayahuasca. Oh no! He didn’t like that! Keep breathing. He’s annoyed you mentioned a mainstream female comedian did what he did. You might has well have said Kathy Griffin ordered a fantastic full-bodied Malbec. Now he’s going to double down on his descriptions of the condors that were raising him onto Christ’s cross. Remember to keep breathing.



Let Go Of Yourself

Drop any hope you had of telling him about your cyst. Your health concerns are things that happened to you. Ayahuasca is something he didn’t just do, he experienced. Understand your place in this: you are bearing witness. Release attachments to your physical body by feeling your tininess in the universe. Letting go is empowering as he enters hour three of describing his spiritual revelation in a fourth-floor walkup in Brooklyn.


Ultimately, there’s no right or wrong way to hear his Ayahuasca story. Each approach brings its challenges and no approach brings the end of the story. Stay true to yourself and your own needs and this too shall pass.