In deeply disappointing news, it appears that the two interviews you rehearsed before, dressed up for, and stressed out about for weeks actually resulted in a full-time engineering job.
Ew, disgusting!
Witnesses report you could have never seen this coming.
“Sure, I really need the work right now,” you said. “But that doesn’t mean I actually wanna do it.”
According to our sources, being a software engineer has been your dream job ever since you were 17 years old, but all that changed when you actually got hired for it.
“It’s not like I have imposter syndrome or anything,” you told us. “I’m very qualified for the role, and I know I’d be good at it. It just sucks that now I have to do it eight hours a day, five days a week. Like literally what the fuck?”
We were also able to catch up with your friends and family for their outlook on the situation, but most of them were pretty confused.
“She’s been really broken up about getting the new job,” your friend Nadia said. “But she’s been talking about the interview process for weeks now, and was so worried that she wasn’t gonna get it, so I don’t really get why she’s so upset.”
“When she told me on the phone that she got the job,” your mom told us, “she sounded kind of sad, like it was bad news or something. But I thought it was great! She can finally stop asking me for money all the time.”
However, you see it much, much differently.
“How am I gonna find time to play Sims 3 now?” you said. “I’m also probably gonna have way more responsibility at this job than when I was a part-time barista. I just don’t think I’ll be able to handle it.”
Fortunately, you’re making the appropriate plans to get out of this terrible situation.
“Maybe I’ll try to get fired,” you said. “I really wouldn’t wish this on anyone.”
