Boyfriend Won’t Stop Putting Weird Shit in Dishwasher

In a developing story out of Salem, MA, Stacey Johnson’s boyfriend Alec Callahan won’t stop putting weird shit in the dishwasher.


According to reports, it all started one day when there was some extra room in the dishwasher, so Alec put in a pan.


“After that, Alec tried throwing in a whisk,” Stacey says. “Then the toothbrush holder, then a blender. It’s really getting out of control.”


“At this point, it’s basically an under-the-bed storage container,” she adds.


The couple is even beginning to lose friends over Alec’s erratic dishwasher behavior.


“Last time they had a dinner party,” Stacey and Alec’s work-friend, Eric Stevens, says, “I tried to help clean up after, and I when I opened the dishwasher, there was a pair of flip-flops in there. It was really disturbing.”


“He wasn’t always like this,” Stacey says, picking up a photo of Alec washing a bowl with his hands. “We used to go out to dinner, talk about our future. We used to laugh. Sometimes he’s the old Alec, but then all of a sudden he’s somewhere else, like he’s scheming what unhinged, often porous item he’ll place in the dishwasher next.”



Witnesses say that Alec’s obsession is only growing. Just this week he has put a reading lamp, some socks, and a framed picture of him and Stacey on a rollercoaster in there.


“Yesterday,” Stacey says, “I saw him measuring our dog. He claimed it was to buy her a little doggie raincoat, but I don’t believe anything he says anymore. I’ve lost him.”


When asked if there is anything he won’t put in the dishwasher, Alec freezes, a crazed look in his eyes, before muttering: “Cans.”