Friends Agreeing Combatively

In a needlessly stressful development out of this social gathering, close friends Antonia Labriola and Samira Azad are having a heated exchange about a topic on which they are in total agreement.


Sources from inside the small party provided details of the scene.


“When I first saw Antonia and Samira on the couch in the corner I thought from their body language that they were having some intense sort of fight,” says Monique Friar. “As I got closer, I clocked that their volume was steadily increasingly until they were basically yelling at each other, saying things like, ‘exactly!’ and ‘no, yes, 100%’. I guess they were just really angrily agreeing?”


The paradoxically harmonious and violent conversation in question had to do with what cancel culture “really is”, dichotomous thinking, the nuances of agency, and capitalism in general.



Witnesses report that Antonia was seen beginning a statement with, “What people don’t understand is—“ then going on at length while Samira rabidly nodded her head, occasionally shouted “yes”, and at one point slammed her drink down on the table in furious accord.


“I just don’t get why they’re so angry talking about stuff they share all the same opinions on,” says party host Evan Wenders. “I think at one point they were both just frenetically recounting the main arguments of a podcast interview that they had actually both listened to.”


The confusingly caustic intellectual circle jerk could have gone on all night, but stopped when Samira shared an opinion on Ukraine that Antonia didn’t agree with.


“Hm, that’s interesting,” said Antonia calmly. “I’ll have to think about that.”


However, at press time, the same-sided fight was seemingly back on as Samira was heard yelling, “Right?! Oh, my God. Thank you.”