Help! My Boyfriend Won’t Stop Describing Things as ‘Lovecraftian’

The influence of H.P. Lovecraft can be found all over prestige television and media. Whether it’s Y.A. novels, narrative podcasts, or Black culture taking new ownership of the genre, this style of storytelling can be found almost anywhere if you look hard enough. Unfortunately, my boyfriend is finding it everywhere – even where it is not.


Can someone help me? I’m not even sure he knows what it means.


First, it was an old horror movie from the 2000s that Ben described as “strange and Lovecraftian”, and while I could see where he was coming from, it was definitely a stretch. But soon, he seemed compelled to call every horror movie we watched “Lovecraftian” whenever we were out with friends – even several comedies. Our friends could see right through it. It was starting to get embarrassing.


I started to get really worried when we were rewatching Twilight, and I heard him muttering under his breath, “This is so Lovecraftian,” over and over again as if he were chanting a prayer only known to straight men who went to film school.



Things finally came to a head when he began describing several elaborate meals I made as “Lovecraftian,” and I finally lost trust in anything he has ever said to me. Yes, even “I love you.” I’m not sure he knows what anything means anymore.


While I’ve thought about leaving him, I’m worried about what he might do next. Right now, he’s in the bedroom pointing at random objects and saying “Lovecraft” over and over again. I called 911 but they’re saying this is common among men, and I should be lucky he’s not calling everything he sees “ambitious” or even “Manichean”.


I’m hoping this sickness will end soon, and hopefully not in a way that’s even remotely Lovecraftian.