Spending time with your honey should be fun no matter what you do, but when you’re first getting to know each other, choosing the right date is key. Are you quirky and frugal? Grab a twisty cone on the boardwalk. Are you chic and elegant? Wear tails to the opera at La Scala. Are you a shadowy avante-garde street artist slash political activist of unverified identity? Try these dates on for size:
Visiting an Art Gallery
Wait, would the noted satirist and subversive social critic behind Gorilla in a Pink Mask actually buy into the dusty old hierarchy of the traditional gallery system? No, but he or she might take a date to the alley behind an art gallery and muse for several hours on what makes art “art” and what really separates what’s on the walls inside a gallery from what’s in the trash cans outside a gallery. This is the kind of surprise that would tell him, “I am Banksy.”
Shopping for Spray Paint
This may not seem like a romantic outing, but odds are your date has a lot to learn about spray paint. If someone wants to get to know you, they’re going to have to understand that street art requires a thicker, less drippy spray paint, and a variety of high-pressure cans for speed and coverage and low-pressure cans for control and flexibility. Explain why you use a skinny rather than a fat actuator. As a bonus, unceasing clouds of aerosol paint should make it clear to your date that you are Banksy without revealing if you are a man, a woman, or seven artists working together on three continents. Guys love that.
Going to a Bank
Need to make a withdrawal, renew a CD, or just stash more jewels in the safe? Bring your date and make a day of it. Be sure to really underscore that you’re going to a “bank, see?” and say the word “bank” a lot while asking if they “see” what you’re saying, or if they can “see” the “bank.” Describe how much you love “banks” and “seeing.” It’s subtle, but if your date is smart, he or she should catch on that you are part or all of Banksy after the fourth or fifth trip.
Taking a Cooking Class
Here’s a good opportunity to show your date that you don’t follow the rules, or the “recipe,” that society has laid out because you are Banksy. Disregard exact measurements and cooking times and follow your instinct. The result should be unexpected: fascinating to some and offensive to others, while also defacing the surrounding property. If you have the chance to bake a cake, make sure to ice the top of the cake with your tag because that’s just what you do.
Going to a Mets Game
Everyone knows Banksy is a lifelong Mets fan, so this should be a dead giveaway.
Go beyond dinner and a movie—you’re effing Banksy! Make your first impression your best impression with these fun, unique dates that say something important about you as a person. Don’t worry about learning more about your date and what they do or like or think, or who they are. There’s no way it’s as cool as being Banksy.
