Summer is fast approaching which means that elementary school students are counting down the days until vacation. But reports out of New Jersey’s Jefferson Elementary in Secaucus are indicating that no student is as excited as first grade teacher Linda Jackson, who is now just days away from getting lit as hell.
“I’m so proud of everything my students have accomplished this year,” says Jackson. “They’ve grown so much. And now I’m gonna celebrate by getting hella lit at the club.”
The 32-year-old teacher, who keeps the drinking and partying to a minimum throughout the school year, is reportedly looking forward to getting turnt at a poppin’ club as soon as school lets out on June 20.
In fact, she’s so focused on the fact that she’ll soon be twerking and backing that thang up on the dance floor, that she’s admittedly gone into autopilot.
“This week I’m just having the kids watch the same movie every day,” she says. “They’ve already learned all the first grade stuff, you know? And I need that time to plan what I’m going to wear to the club to make my titties pop. The students have completed the curriculum and shit’s bout to get turnt up if you know what I mean.”
As the school year winds down, Jackson is not only preparing to get lit on the first day of summer break. She’s also preparing to stay lit, and sometimes crunk, for the entirety of the summer.
“Linda works really hard for her kids,” says Principal Karl Frieze. “She’s one of our best teachers and parents actually request her classes. She deserves to get drunk and durnk as fuck as soon as that final school bell rings.”
“I also consider her a friend, and hope that I get to see her make that booty go clap at least once this summer,” he added.
Jackson’s not the only teacher revving up for a summer of tequila shooters, bull riding and weekend getaways to the trashiest hotels in Cancun.
“Kids think that summer vacation is all about them,” says third grade teacher Ellen Wiseman. “But it’s really about giving the teachers a break so we can day-drink for two months and, yeah, get super fucking lit at a local dive bar. I’m probably going to dry-hump Mr. McKenna, the gym teacher, in the bathroom of O’Rourkes and then make it as awkward as possible when we get back in September.”
Best of luck to these smart hoes!
