Wazzup tiddies, it’s Dude Corner! Now I know what you’re thinking: “Whoa, how are Dude Corner’s sizzling hot takes always totally valid and right?” I’ll let you in on a little secret – it’s because I get women. Not get women – although, I do pull bitches – but get them, like spiritually. I’m like the ultimate ally in understanding woman’s crap because I grew up with three sisters, who all fuckin’ suuuuucked.
As a brother of three sisters, I’m totally empathetic to all your girly concerns, even when they’re dumb. My bitchass sister Ava used to complain all the time about me leaving the toilet seat up, which was hella annoying at first because why couldn’t she just put it down if it bothered her so much?! But when my other sisters also complained about it, I realized putting the toilet seat down was really a gesture of solidarity, even though that extra step was so fucking tedious that I never did it for them.
Growing up with three bratty sisters as the only dude was hard, but I persevered. And now because of it, I’m a better man. I know how to handle chicks now, especially when they’re upset. Thanks to my sisters, I look women in the eyes and respectfully say, “Hey girl, I hear you and I get you,” before giving my unsolicited opinion, which is always correct because I have a ton of practice (my sisters were upset with me a lot).
What’s that? That’s not how to handle women? Ah- wrong! You sound just like my bossy sister Caroline, but what does she know, she went to a state school. Not saying I’m a bad listener – I’m great at listening to my sisters. But they’re really anal about everything, so like any good brother, I pick and choose what to listen to. And those are active listening skills I’ve transferred over to all women – you’re welcome, ladies!
Like that one British chick who was hot when she was younger studying the chimpanzees in Africa, living among annoying women has really given me insight into their lives and validates every opinion I have about them. I don’t need to put in the work because I grew up doing the work. Without all my struggles from living with them and all the reflecting I did, I wouldn’t be the sick dude I am today, spouting fire takes. You can thank Ava, Caroline, and Laney for that, but most importantly, thank me for putting up with their shit.