In breaking news coming out of men’s bathrooms inside sports stadiums everywhere, it appears that men sometimes pee in troughs.
“It’s really not that big of a deal,” said one man, Trevor Thomas. “Usually there’s urinals in men’s bathrooms, but sometimes in big places that aren’t super fancy they have troughs. It’s all the same to me, though. I’ll pee wherever.”
While there are very few men who are surprised by this breaking news, to everyone else who’s never used a men’s restroom before, it comes as a shocking and disturbing fact that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
“I never knew that when my boyfriend went to the bathroom during Mets games he was peeing into a trough,” said 27-year-old Francesca Martinez. “I mean, what do men poop in at sports games? A bird feeder?”
We spoke to another woman who also expressed her horror about the state of men’s bathrooms in select locations around the country.
“I just can’t believe they all pee standing next to each other without dividers or anything,” 24-year-old Shereé Davis told us. “Like, is that not awkward as hell? What does that even smell like?”
Fortunately, we were able to pick the brain of a bathroom facility researcher at Cal Tech University about what went into the thought process of using a trough as a communal urinal.
“We’re still not sure,” Dr. Melanie Ibrahim said. “Some reports say that the first time they did this was at a stadium where there was a horse barn nearby, which makes a lot of sense. But other than that, we have no idea why they’re still used today.”
Fascinating. But despite having studies to back it up, there are still millions of women everywhere who are having a hard time grasping this unsettling reality.
“I don’t think I can ever trust a man again,” one woman told us. “I was already on the fence before, but this takes it over the edge. I mean, why am I just finding out about this now?”
Millions of women already knew that men were pretty disgusting, but with this new information, they are still finding themselves surprised again at how bizarre and gross a men’s bathroom can be, especially when there are still men who pee on the bathroom floor even when a trough is literally right there.
