In a developing story out of St. Louis, Sarah Daly has discovered that the oven in her apartment does not do the thing it was built to do, and maybe never has.
“It’s pretty messed up of my landlord to rent out an apartment with a non-working appliance in it,” said Sarah. “I mean, now that I’m thinking about it, this might be my first time attempting to use it. So it actually could’ve broken just now. But still.”
Sarah, who has reportedly lived in the apartment for over six months, has never really thought to check if the oven worked or not.
“I just assumed it would work,” said Sarah. “Like, in theory if I ever needed to use it, I would turn the knob thing then the inside would get hot? Was that unrealistic? Was it my job to make sure everything worked? Or did I break it? Can you break something without ever touching it?”
Sarah discovered the oven’s apparent lack of function at a particularly inconvenient time: just after mixing boxed brownie batter and pouring it into an baking pan. She reportedly turned on the oven and waited two hours before realizing the appliance had remained categorically not hot.
“I just thought it would be nice to bake something for my friends,” said Sarah. “I don’t even know where I got the notion, but I have been watching a lot of the Great British Bake Off lately, so that could be it.”
“Needless to say, this was not a good bake,” Sarah added.
Sarah’s roommate isn’t shocked.
“I mean she’s lived here since June, you’d think she would’ve tried to use the oven at least once right?” said Bethany DelOrto. “Or, actually, no, this makes sense. Yeah. I take it back, this is classic Sarah.”
However, Sarah plans to make big changes following the harrowing episode, including “definitely cooking more, probably.”
“I mean now I know the fridge mostly works and the oven doesn’t, the stove is a toss-up,” she said. “But it’s getting close to summer now, so I probably won’t use it until fall. We’ll see what’s up then.”
At time of press, Daly was reportedly considering texting her landlord, but has since decided to focus her efforts on Postmates-ing Chips Ahoy to herself.
