In an adorable story coming out of your birthday party, your two-year-old niece, Leah, just approached you with a devious smile only to reveal a cute little present – she coded you a birthday card!
Aww! That’s so sweet of her! But, like, how?
“Dis for you!” Leah very proudly said as she took her hands from behind her back to reveal a tiny little iPad.
“The iPad?” you asked, clearly not technologically literate.
“No, silly!” she continued, giggling. “The HTML website with a birthday card displayed on the home page and each of your life accomplishments on other sub-pages!”
You stood aghast for a moment, because this is the longest sentence you’ve ever heard her say.
Sources confirm she has not yet learned to read or write, but is fluent in several programming languages, including C, C++, HTML, Python, and JavaScript. She’s still struggling with SQL though, so at least there’s that.
“You know what they say about how kids pick up other languages really easily in those first 12 years,” your sister, Kendra, said while cutting herself a slice of cake. “Turns out that’s true of coding languages, too! Leah is just so good at them. We can’t get that terminal window out of her hands!”
You laughed along as if you knew what a terminal window was, then excused yourself to the bathroom to google it.
As far as the birthday card itself, you had to admit it was beautiful.
“She’s managed to make all of the images move in tandem to create a little optical illusion,” you whispered to reporters from inside the bathroom. “How the fuck did she do that? She’s not even potty trained yet!”
Reporters corrected you that she is, actually, potty trained, as that sort of thing typically starts around the 18th month of development.
“I have no clue what a normal development cycle is now!” you shouted back. “Are kids supposed to be able to be low-level software engineers at Google by age three?”
According to local moms, yes.
“I can never get Lily to put away her toys,” one mom, Karen Hardy, told reporters. “But I can get her to create a stock investment portfolio via a day-trading app, so at least we’re working with what we have.”
As of press time, Leah’s mom took her iPad away, so Leah threw a tantrum by silently playing with some blocks.
