Nothing says, “My 90-minute beauty routine is totally normal” like listening to a brainy 90-minute podcast. As you dive into your moisturizing regimen (30 minutes), here are some nerdy podcasts to make you feel like your painstaking morning beauty routine is time well spent.
Listen to this one while you make eye contact with your pores in your magnifying mirror so you can learn about the origins of common expressions and speech patterns. Wow, so interesting! Good thing you use so many moisturizers!
Stuff You Should Know
There is so much stuff you don’t know—but should! While you draw lines around your eyes for literally twenty minutes, you can find out how PEZ dispensers work and why Carl Sagan was awesome. Useful!
There are hundreds of these intellectual talks to choose from, so you won’t run out while you tweeze your whole body. Who says your life as a woman is frivolous? You’re looking good inside and out, but especially out!
Waking Up with Sam Harris
Wake up, pumice your feet, and realize that there are so many truths and facts that everyone who’s not professional atheist Sam Harris ignores. He’s not afraid to speak his mind, and you’re not afraid to listen (while you remove dead skin cells with a 20-minute exfoliating mask)!
Coffee Break French
Learn the vernacular equivalent of a sexy makeover while also giving yourself a sexy makeover with this language learning podcast. Est-ce que tu aimes le sexe? Is right!
How To Do Everything
As you apply layers of moisturizer, primer, foundation, and setting spray, you can learn how to do everything you haven’t learned from a makeup tutorial. You’ve always wondered how to predict the weather, which is a perfect justification for three different layers of foundation. Cute!
Stuff You Missed In History Class
You missed so much in history class because you were like, “I hope my makeup isn’t caking!” but now you can make up for lost time while also trying to erase your freckles. Honestly, it’s a good thing you have all this grooming time to expand your mind!
Now that you’ve been able to improve your mind while also improving your appearance, you can totally justify your two-hour morning beauty routine!