6 Times Sharon Was Not Your Real Mom
Sure, your dad’s wife Sharon is great and all, but when push comes to shove, there are some serious “tells” that she’s not your real mom. In fact, Sharon is a totally different person! Here are some times that Sharon revealed she wasn’t your real mom and you will NOT listen to her.
When Sharon Thought It Was a Good Compromise to Have Ham and Turkey at Christmas
Sharon was making different calls from the get-go. Your real mom never would have tried to put turkey on the Christmas dinner table, but Sharon did. Your real mom was a ham devotee. Not only did Sharon do all the extra work to cook a ham and a turkey, she also proved she’s trying way too hard.
When Sharon Bought You a Prom Dress
Your real mom would have made you buy your own prom dress because she’d spent all her money on “the races.” With Sharon in the picture, it was a whole big production where she paid for your dress so you could have your “dream prom” or whatever. Sharon even dropped you and your friends off at the mall and gave you all Starbucks money, but not before she just had to drop a lot of hints about wanting to see you try on dresses. Sharon just doesn’t get moms! She never will!!
When Sharon Thought a Beach Vacation Was a Good Idea
Your real mom thought beaches were boring and waste of time, but I guess Sharon has her own idea about things. What’s really gross is how your dad is just going along with it like it’s not the stupidest idea ever. It even looks like Sharon can hold her breathe underwater without drowning…seriously, so lame, Sharon. Dad, why did you marry her??
When Sharon Got Matching Haircuts With Your Sister
Can you even believe that? Your sister never asked to get your real mom’s haircut at the salon, but that Sharon’s around she thinks she’s like, Rachel from Friends. Sure, Sharon goes to a fancy salon and treated your sister so that she can have glossy, perfectly layered hair, but that’s just an inauthentic mom thing to do!
When Sharon Had to Go On a Business Trip
Sure, it was cool that Sharon left the house for a week so you didn’t have to see her stupid face, but did she have to act so cocky about it? You’re not so cool just because you have a job, Sharon. Your real mom never left the house, and if she did, she brought back frozen pizza and canned ravioli. Plus, since Sharon’s not around, who’s going to do the laundry? Sharon is the worst!
Face it: Sharon’s totally different from your real mom. Some would say she’s better, but those people are wrong. Go fuck yourself, Sharon!