How To Talk Your Man Through The Awkward Stages Of Growing Out His Topknot

So, your significant other has decided to achieve a topknot, despite the fact that he’s balding and his hair grows even slower than his patchy half-beard. You know you need to talk to him, but you don’t want to offend him after all the work he has put into his sad, trendy hair. Here are some supportive ways to talk your man through the months-long process of growing out his topknot:



“No, it looks good. This is a good idea.”


Your man needs constant reassurance; don’t be afraid to preemptively say something positive about his ambitious hairdo. If you catch him looking disappointed at his stubby little ponytail in the bathroom mirror, clippers in hand, gently step behind him and whisper these words of encouragement into his ear. Be careful not to get hit in the eye by the ponytail, as it will be stiff, bristly, and potentially dangerous at this stage in the game.



“Sure, it looks awkward now, but think of the long game.”


This is going to take a while, so hang in there, baby. In fact, buy one of those cat posters and hang it up in his bathroom. Your man might become bothered by people staring at his hair in public or overhearing passersby ask if rat tails are making a comeback, so keep him focused on his goal. You might even become discouraged yourself, but just think about how cool you’ll look posing beside his sexy man-bun in a few months.



“People totally get what you’re going for…”


Believe it or not, this isn’t just about you. Your man needs to know that his friends and family are in on his plan to keep the sides of his head buzzed down while his soon-to-be-knotted hair flows gloriously from the top of his crown. Support him by keeping hair ties on hand at all times, as it may take some time for him to understand his new hair-related responsibilities.



“Of course you can use my conditioner!”


You’ll love bonding with your man over shared beauty products. Don’t get all upset if you find half of your bobby pins missing or deep finger marks in your pot of expensive styling crème. Instead, give him suggestions on how to keep his unfortunate eyebrow-length hair out of his eyes and teach him the finer points of pinning. Remember how you felt when your mother taught you how to do your hair as a child. Didn’t it feel good? Do that for him.