4 Dating App Profile Cliches You Can Ignore if He Has a Dog

Dating apps can be weird: Your first impression of someone is in their curated pictures and a few words on their profiles. It can be especially tricky when it seems like every potential date’s profile has the same cookie cutter bio and played out jokes. But are you still required to take those into consideration if he has a frenchie? Here are four dating app profile cliches that you can totally choose to ignore if he’s got a dog!


“I’m 5’8”, and those are two different measurements”

Oh cool, a dick joke! Not only is this a cliche, it’s an immediately sexual one that speaks to the intentions of whoever’s profile it’s on. But, I mean, if he has a dog, you can maybe get past it? Like, sure he’s only looking to sleep with you, but what if you get to hang out with a wiggly pitbull with a big ol’ blockhead before you tell him off? You can probably just ignore this one!


“Fluent in sarcasm”

Wow, how original!! Any man with this on his profile thinks he’s super funny, is definitely not, and is to be avoided at all costs. That is, unless his pictures indicate that he owns a boston terrier who wears a little sweatshirt or a shiba inu who knows how to nod its head ‘yes’. In that case, disregard this hackneyed phrase, laugh at all his unfunny jokes, and get those pup snuggles in! You deserve it!



Anything mentioning “Infinite Jest”

Yuck! I mean, besides the fact that David Foster Wallace was an abusive shitbag, a Tinder guy thinking he’s deep for having read a book that thousands of his contemporary pseudo-intellectual bros have also read is a red flag. But honestly, you’re absolutely allowed to ignore this one if he brings his chunky lil’ english bulldog on your coffee date. Those are the rules!!


“I love music”

Oh, he loves music? Does he also love movies, food, and breathing? This dude is seriously boring if he couldn’t come up with anything more interesting to write about himself than his love of something that everyone else on earth also loves. Here’s the thing though, if there’s a chance that the golden retriever puppy in his main pic is his, you are fully within your rights to pretend that he wrote something way more interesting and go out with him anyway. He has a puppy!!!!


Listen, online dating is horrible and is not made any easier by the same old cliche shit you’ll see on every single dude’s profile. But try to make yourself feel better by realizing that it is fully okay if you ignore those things and instead focus only on the dogs that you’ll get to meet by meeting these shitty, unoriginal dudes!