News ARCHIVES

Woman Uncertain Which Personality to Use With New Acquaintances

TV Being So Good Directly Correlated to Everything Else Being So Bad

Woman Only Able to Enjoy Movie If She Talking During It

Man Only Ever Makes Plans for Next 48 Hours

Democrats Blocked From Entering Capitol Building Due to ‘Push’ Door Labeled ‘Pull’

Trump Not So Against Gender-Affirming Care When It’s His Own Hair Transplant

Woman Spends 45 Minutes Picking Songs for 15 Minute Run

City-Dwelling Woman Reconnects With Nature by Taking Dog on Walk to Pee in Small Patch of Dirt Next to Sidewalk

Man Drinking Iced Coffee in Winter With Hopes Someone Will Notice

Winter Coats Taking up 99% of Space in Woman’s Apartment

‘Joy Is an Act of Resistance!’ Says White Woman Who Engages in No Other Acts of Resistance

Barron Still Uncertain What Elon’s Role Is in Family

New Song Put to Work Immediately

Elon Musk Clarifies He Was Not Doing a Nazi Salute but Rather an Homage to a Nazi Salute

REPORT: All Jeans a Little Period Stained

Woman Has Personal Goals and Rules for Herself Like Some Sort of Cop

Woman Choosing Perfume Trying to Decide Which Smell Will Best Haunt Her Next Ex

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