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Woman Skeptical About Election Polls After Being Burned Once by Bo Bice’s ‘American Idol’ Loss

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4 Sexy Vampire Costumes That Say, ‘My Cat’s Name Is Renesmee’

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Mom Taking Low-Angle Pictures of You Eating With Your Cousins Again

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Space Heaters That Are Cheaper Than Paying for Heat Until They Burn Your Entire Building Down

How to Transition from Being Happy Today is Almost Over to Sad Because Tomorrow Will Soon Begin

Being Bisexual Does Not Make Me Slutty, I Just Happen to be Both

How to Clean Your Room Even Though Nobody is Coming Over for Sex

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Here’s How the Cupid Shuffle Brought Me to the Left, to the Left, to the Left, to the Left

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Fall Porn? This Porn Has Wreaths!

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QUIZ: Is Your Manor Haunted or Did You Take Too Many Edibles in Your Apartment Again?

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‘Let’s Change The Subject,’ Says Mother Proven Wrong

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4 Heavy Cocktails to Help You Grapple With the Fact That You Are Sexually Attracted to Ms. Frizzle

Sorry If I Seem Out of It! I’m Just a Little Tired of Having No Job, Friends, Or Family

Hard-Boiled Egg Rolls Under Fridge in Misguided Quest for Freedom

Sad! These Squat Proof Leggings Aren’t Shit Proof

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Nobel Peace Prize Awarded to Green Left Arrow on Traffic Light

‘Maybe We Could Go for a Socially Distanced Walk?’ Says Man Trying to Cum on Your Face

Here, Have Some Photographs of Tom Holland, You Sick Fuck

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