After winning an extremely high stakes game of dreidel this week, 28-year-old Hannah Cohen had collected enough gelt to pay off the entirety of her student debt.
Talk about making money moves! This boss bitch’s final loan of $18,257 was discharged before she even lit the third candle on her menorah.
While family members in the other room are still wondering how this all happened, Hannah and her one uncle who goes to Vegas a lot ensured: “It was a lot of gelt.”
“Normally we only accept U.S. dollars as an acceptable currency,” says Hannah’s private loan associate at Fannie Mae. “But when we saw how much gelt she actually had, we were like, damn, okay!!”
When asked how she managed to pull this off, Hannah claims it was a strategic plan over years of honing in her dreidel and betting skills.
“I was an art major, so I knew early on that it would probably be hard to find a job that would allow me to pay off my loan,” Hannah says. “That’s why, from an early age, I tucked away my gelt every year waiting until I’d have enough to just pay it all off before I turned 30.”
We’re pretty sure this is exactly what they meant when they say, nes gadol hayah sham!
After a late night of wearing down her cousins and betting the entirety of her gelt, she doubled her net-gelt-worth overnight, finally allowing her to become debt-free.
“It’s a true Hannukah miracle,” Hannah said. “Now I can finally start saving enough gelt for retirement.”