Mom Waiting For Inopportune Moment to Reveal Dark Family Secrets

Lurking in the shadows of a joyous family occasion, mother of three Frances Jacobsen is lying in wait, ready to pounce on the most inopportune moment to reveal a dark family secret that will absolutely ruin the day.


“I can see she’s been quiet at dinner, and she’s already had a couple of glasses of wine,” says her eldest daughter, Shima. “I know at any minute now she’s going to interrupt someone and say that Grandpa was actually a raging alcoholic.”


It is clear to everyone at the table that Mom is waiting for the absolutely happiest time to break some kind of dark tale that will change everyone’s perception of their own family history.


“By the look on her face, it’s something that’s been weighing on her for years, even decades,” says Dylan, her youngest. “If it’s anything like last time, it will probably be something about how Grandma was too poor to raise her children, and gave away her youngest to another family, and now that estranged family member is living in Florida or something.”


Frances’ husband, Dan, appears to be pouring a stiffer drink in preparation for either a joyous moment or an absolutely night-ruining one, who knows.



But like a lion preparing to pounce on its prey, Frances remains quiet, waiting for the absolute, most inappropriate time to ruin the only day her family has been together for an entire year.


At press time, Grandpa was making a joke about his “crazy family” as Frances was muttering into her glass, “You have no idea,” over and over again.