Talk about insomnia goals! 31-year-old Lola Chan is fundamentally unable to fall asleep unless she can pinpoint precisely who, among 3,260 Instagram accounts, has unfollowed her that day.
“Instagram makes it notoriously hard to see who has unfollowed you, so it takes some painstakingly slow research to determine who has unfollowed me and why,” Lola told us. “My very first bouts with insomnia were from wondering who unfollowed me. Since then, I made a choice to value my sleep and spend two to three hours finding out which bitch unfollowed me that day.”
We stan a low-key private investigator who values eight hours of sleep!
Lola sees about 5-7 unfollows per week, which accounts for many late nights deciphering who it was, and if they were people she knew or just random meme accounts that were looking for a follow-back.
“If it’s a random account, I can just ignore it and go to sleep, but if it’s someone I know, I have to spend a few minutes thinking of why that person is actually a bitch, and then I can go to sleep.”
Now that’s what we call a healthy bedtime ritual!!
To save time, Lola keeps a daily log of followers so that she can easily compare and contrast which bitch unfollowed her that day, so that she can finally submit to the sweet release of nightly slumber. From there, she can easily determine why a particular photo or story might have caused the unfollow.
“It takes me a little longer to get to sleep if they unfollow me for something like a thirst trap or a major accomplishment, but I usually work it out after an hour of staring at the ceiling wondering what I did wrong.”
Way to know yourself, girl! We haven’t slept in months!!