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Email Signoffs to Make You Sound Less Like a Pushover and More Like the God of the Old Testament

Woman Most Confident Dressed in Billowy Slab of Loose Fabric

5 Red Lipsticks That Say ‘I Just Ate Heat Miser’s Ass’

5 Indoor Plants So Easy to Maintain They’re Practically Daring You to Kill Them

Bad Feminist? This Woman Is in the Bathroom at the Same Time as You

How to Play Your Mom in Scrabble Without Calling Her a Bitch and Meaning It

Environmental Hero? Instead of Flushing Her Bloody Tampons, This Woman Uses Them to Make Little Log Cabins

Ambitious! Woman Brings Eyeliner to Club Like She’s Going to Reapply It

How I Reject the Consumerism of the Holidays by Spending a Bunch of Money All Year

Christmas List Making It Too Obvious You Can’t Afford Basic Necessities

Wow! This Woman’s Love Language Is All of Them

How to Make Him Hard Again by Putting the Cum Back in His Dick

‘Keep Portland Weird!’ Says Woman Who Has Never Experienced Raw Sinister Energy of South Dakota

Mom Insists You’ll Change Your Mind About Not Wanting to Get Your Asshole Ripped Open During Childbirth

QUIZ: Do You Hate Christmas in an Anti-Capitalist Way or in a Scrooge Way?

Random Act of Kindness? This Man Ended His Podcast

How to Start a Budget You’ll Be Too Afraid to Look at Again

REPORT: Downstairs Neighbors Having a Loud Party Again

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