Author Archives for Eve Penzer

I’m Bringing Jon Snow Back From the Dead With Nothing But the Power of Masturbation

Is He Psychic or Just Listening to What You’re Saying?

Make Your Wedding Photos Look Like a Fucking Murder Scene

Your Fake Perfect Life is Less Perfect Than My Fake Perfect Life

Halloween Costumes for Just Fucking Covering That Shit Up

10 Cute Knives to Wave at Your Boyfriend When You’re Havin’ a Li’l Fight

Nobody Can See Me Appropriating Other Cultures from Under This Burka!

Instagram Filters to Make Your Sickly Children Look Rosy-Cheeked for Fall

New Excuses for Not Riding the Elevator With Your Boss

How to Take the Perfect Naked-and-Afraid Selfie

Toilet Paper Bride - Reductress

How to Hide Mental Illness with Wedding Planning

What To Do When Your Friends Are on Their Second Marriages But You’re Only on Your First

roommate - reductress

Use Question Marks to Seem More Feminine?

trenchcoat - reductress

My Boyfriends Are Always Two Kids On Each Other’s Shoulders Wearing a Trench Coat

5 Nonsensical French Phrases To Whisper in His Ear

Exactly How Many Exclamation Points to Use in Your Emails!

I Probably Could’ve Chosen Better Wedding Colors

How to Have Sex with Your Boyfriend Without You Noticing