Jackie Young’s grandmother just passed away this past Wednesday, but Jackie is choosing to look on the bright side of this devastating loss by seeing it as a real excuse to cancel her upcoming college reunion brunch with friends.
“Obviously, I’m heartbroken GamGam is gone,” said the 28-year-old elementary school teacher. “But I also know GamGam would not want me to waste this opportunity to use her death as a reason to get out of brunch. It’s a real lifesaver too, because I was running out of excuses to cancel last minute.”
Sources report that Jackie has been using vague “family emergencies” to get out of plans for years, but this is the first time it’s been true.
“I was going to call bullshit on whatever excuse Jackie tried to use to weasel out of brunch,” says Jackie’s friend Celia, who organized the reunion. “But I saw the obituary online and everyone commenting on Facebook and I guess her grandma really did die. I can’t fault her for that.”
“GamGam would be so proud of me,” said Jackie, tearing up. “She knew how much I hated socializing. The idea that her legacy lives on in my canceled plans would mean so much to her.”
Even though the memorial service is scheduled to occur next weekend, Jackie reports she plans on using her grandma’s death as an excuse to get out of plans for at least six months.
“Nothing would honor GamGam more than keeping her memory alive by invoking her every time I say I can’t make something. And just in time for wedding season too! I can just picture her beaming down from above as I RSVP ‘No’ to every invite.”
At press time, Jackie is considering using her grandma’s death as a reason to skip the memorial.
