Writer Finally Achieves 10,000 Hours of Sitting in Coffee Shop

In an awe-inspiring success story, 26-year-old freelance writer Esme Green has finally completed her goal of spending 10,000 hours sitting in a coffee shop this week.


Green’s focus on achieving the specific figure hails from the 10,000 hours rule, popularized by Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outlier, which claims 10,000 hours of deliberate practice is necessary in order to achieve excellence in one’s field.


Green has accomplished this feat in only the four years since she began her career in the field of creative nonfiction.


“The key to deliberate practice is positive habit-forming,” explained Green. “Every morning, I would wake up at the same time and head straight to the coffee shop to write. Once I was there, I’d check my email, text my friends, read reviews of skincare products online, and read the news for three hours. It’s important to stay really focused.”


“Sometimes I would even work on some writing,” added Green. “But it was when I was avoiding doing so that the hours really started to fly by.”


Joanna Allen, the owner of Green’s local haunt, confirmed the writer’s dedication.


“Esme started coming into the shop in 2014,” said Allen. “Soon she was here all the time, and when I found she was a writer, I was so impressed by her drive. Then I found out she was mostly just fucking around on her computer, but, I mean, she still buys a lot of coffee.”


Though Green’s accomplishments are inspiring and suggest extreme determination, Green is the first to admit that achieving mastery in coffee shop patronage was not always her intention.


“If you want to make God laugh, make a plan,” said Green. “I thought I would have been an expert memoirist by now, but it turns out I am actually an expert in sitting in a coffee shop and checking emails I sent in the past for spelling errors.”


As for her creative ambitions, Green says she is just biding her time.



“Writing is really at the heart of my entire coffee shop experience,” Green explained. “I think having finally completed my 10,000 hours of sitting in a coffee shop will give me the taste of success I need to revitalize other pursuits.”


At press time, Green announced plans to check out the library.