Woman With Mansion Owes Everything to 6th Grade Game of MASH

In an inspiring story coming out of Belafonte, PA, reporters recently caught up with local success story Jenna Reyes, who credits her current sprawling mansion to an auspicious sixth-grade game of MASH.


“Everything I have, I owe to a game of MASH at Stacy Weinberg’s sleepover party,” says the 32-year-old. “If it wasn’t for that game predicting I would have a mansion in the future, the life I live now would never have been properly manifested.”


While some things still have yet to come true, Jenna points to that specific game of MASH for setting out her future for her, including the two kids she currently has.


“Thank goodness the game said I would have two kids – I remember that bitch Lisa Roberts writing ‘10’ and ‘100’ as options. Can you imagine? Thankfully after two kids, I told my husband we were done – the game had decreed it.”


Despite her current luxurious life, Jenna remains humble, telling reporters she’s grateful for the hard work and support she had leading up to that 6th-grade game.



“I know they say MASH is a game of pure chance, but I truly believe if it wasn’t for the guidance and encouragement from my family and friends, I never would have said ‘Stop!’ at the right time and eliminated all other housing options. I’m only where I am thanks to the love and community around me. If it wasn’t for them, I could have easily become Hannah Keebler who lives in a “loft-like” studio in Bushwick because she got ‘shack’.”


Indeed, reporters caught up with other former partygoers who played the formative game at Stacy Weinberg’s sleepover. True to that game, Lauren Nguyen now drives a hot pink VW Bug, Lisa Roberts has 5 kids, and Stacy Weinberg herself is married to high school sweetheart Ryan Hackett.


“Forget college, forget my parent’s divorce – playing that game was the most crucial moment of my life,” says Stacy. “And to think I almost made us play Truth or Dare instead!”


Jenna’s success remains an inspiration to local middle-schoolers everywhere.


“My mansion is tangible proof of what an honest game of MASH can do. Now I’m just waiting to marry Freddie Prinze Jr.!”