Finally seeing the light all the way from Greenville, SC, 27-year-old Winnie Park just read a book all the way through and is starting to understand what all the fuss is about.
Winnie, who readily admits she has not read a book cover-to-cover since college, started and finished The Secret History despite having started and quit well over 60 other novels.
“I’d heard great things about it, and honestly, from the first page I was hooked,” she told reporters gathered at the scene. “Wow, listen to that! I never thought anyone actually meant it when they used that phrase!”
Sources confirm Winnie managed to pace herself well over the course of this nearly 600-page novel, taking about a month to read it, but not losing steam in the middle like she always does.
“Now that I’ve finished, I feel a deep gratitude for the novel’s earned ending coupled with a profound sadness that it’s over,” she continued, looking visibly surprised. “Holy shit! Is this what people have been talking about when they say they like reading? I thought it was all about the aesthetic!”
Winnie confirmed that she knew some people genuinely enjoyed reading books – as she even did in her youth – but had slowly become convinced that she’d already read any of the books she was ever going to like.
“I just never finish anything anymore,” she continued. “And this time, I didn’t even think about the reading, you know? Like, normally when I’m reading, I can’t stop thinking, ‘Reading, reading, reading.’ Is this resonating with you guys?”
One brave reporter nodded yes.
“Exactly!” she continued. “But this time I wasn’t even thinking about it! It wasn’t about finishing the book so I could say I’d finished it or reading 10 pages a day because I ‘probably should.’ I was just breezing through because I genuinely wanted to see how the story progressed. Storytelling is really cool!”
After her journey, Winnie says she finally understands the concept that love happens when you least expect it.
“My friend Richard had been talking about how he’d get so absorbed in a book he wouldn’t want to put it down, and I thought that was performative bullshit,” she said, incredulous. “But I can totally see it now. He and I are in community! Wow.”
As of press time, Winnie had picked up her next book project, read 27 pages, put it down, then started re-reading The Secret History, maintaining that old habits die hard.
