Four Foods From Infancy We Wish They’d Bring Back


We all get nostalgic about our infancy, but nothing brings out that nostalgia like the delicious foods we remember from our babyhood. Here are four we wish they’d bring back:


1. Breast milk.

Kids today are missing out on what we former infants knew to be true: breast milk is the best milk. It’s delicious, budget-friendly, and thus far, it’s the only food I’ve been able to call into existence simply by crying (and believe me, I once waited in line five hours for a cronut!). Plus, being exclusively breast-fed allowed us to hone that smug air of superiority we’d need later when we became vegan.


2. Colostrum!  

Raise your hand if you remember the sweet, sweet feel of inter alia IgA being absorbed through the intestinal epithelium! Former babies know that colostrum was the real deal. Our digestive systems may have been immature, but our taste in this magical pre-milk was anything but. Meconium? Passed. Jaundice? See ya. Antibodies? Check! To kids today, lactoferrin, lysozome, and lactoperoxidase probably just sound like Game of Thrones characters … but former infants know them as anything but! Dinner is coming, and it’s gonna be digested a whole lot easier once we’ve lubed the pipes with colostrum.


3. Pureed food in a jar.

Call me old-fashioned, but to me, there’s something special about a meal ballsy enough to say, “Hey. I’m baby food, and this is exactly what I’m going to look like when I come out.” Kids today with their salads in a jar have got NOTHING on this classic meal-in-a-jar – the only meal for those of us whose taste palettes developed way before our hard palates. Ever wonder if turkey, summer squash, and pears go together? What about apples, prunes, and chicken mush? Spoiler alert: they all do, and they’re all heavenly. Not to mention, there’s something special about a meal that’s always delivered by airplane.



4. That thing you found on the floor.

What’s that in the corner of the kitchen, right past the dirty rug? Is that a stale piece of popcorn or, now calm down, don’t get your hopes up … a stale Cheerio? Former infants know there’s only one way to find out: put it in your mouth. Even if turns out to be an insect or a piece of lint, former infants know there’s nothing more delicious than That Thing You Found On The Floor. Of course, it’s never quite as good as Keys or TV Remote, but then, what is?


So let’s all cross our fingers (now that we’re able to) in hopes that the powers that be return these classic infancy foods to their former popularity and availability.