In a developing story out of Boston, MA, 27-year-old Kate Gillian practiced self-care by treating herself to a little road rage on her commute home.
“I had a really rough day at work today, and I knew just what I needed to feel better,” Kate says. “There’s just nothing like a little good, old-fashioned screaming at a stranger to perk up my mood.”
For the entire drive home, Kate unleashed profane vitriol at her fellow commuters, solely for the purpose of giving herself a little pick-me-up.
When a car passed her, Kate reportedly jumped at the chance and bellowed, “Wowwwww. Wowwwwww. In a literal sense, what the fuck? Like, non-figuratively, what the fuck are you doing?”
“Fucking fuckhead,” Kate said, muttering at another tailgater while honking. “Fuckwit. Tit-schnitzel.”
“Road rage just feels so damn good,” says Kate. “There’s just something so exhilarating about the high stakes of a possible collision or an actual confrontation. My adrenaline starts pumping, and it almost kinda feels like happiness.”
Even in cases where she was the legally and/or morally liable party, Kate reportedly drove home, continuing to blare the car horn, innovated creative new curse words, and questioned the worth of everyone’s mothers.
According to Kate, seething road-rage is a little treat she reserves for special occasions.
“I don’t do it all the time, obviously,” Kate says. “That would ruin my karma.”
According to Kate, while she is somewhat bothered by people’s poor driving skills, she mostly just enjoys road-rage because anger makes her feel alive.
“Deep down, I’m pretty understanding, and I get that we’re all just doing our best on the roads,” Kate says. “I just get myself ramped up because rage makes me feel like I’m taking care of me, you know? I feel so primal!”
At the last red light before she got home, Kate reportedly let out one last stream of aggression even though no one wronged her at all, just to not waste a perfectly good intersection.
“Hahahah wowwwww!!!! Honestly, please go ahead and die!” yelled Kate, to no one in particular.
At press time, Kate was on record advocating for road rage as a cheaper alternative to therapy.
“It’s the hidden self-care gem no one is talking about,” says Kate. “Treat yourself!”
