Displaying the raw, destructive power of her own imagination, 25-year-old Haley Nunez is her most creative when finding excuses not to pursue her art practice.
“I would pursue my art this week,” Haley told reporters gathered at the scene. “But there are so many other things on my to-do list right now that take precedence: finding a new desk, shining my shoes, getting a small hat for my cat, oh and of course, renewing my TSA Precheck before I go to Greece next summer, where I will hopefully pursue my art.”
Sources confirm that coming up with these excuses not to write a chapter of her fiction novel is the most Haley has applied her creative brain in months.
“Oh, also, when that’s done,” she continued, “I’ll have to come up with fun names for each of the stuffed animals I’m listing on Depop, then tweet something humorous yet profound, and then once that’s all done, I’ll brainstorm for my book!”
Haley has claimed for weeks that she would love to pursue her art but simply cannot find the time or energy. She worries that she’s lost her “creative drive and ability,” which would make sense if she were not currently coming up with hundreds of extremely far-fetched excuses for why she can’t write.
“Sure, I have a few hours left in the day when I get home from work that I could use to write,” she continued. “But…”
Reporters confirm she trailed off here for about 45 seconds, looking deep in thought as she devised another creative excuse not to apply her creative brain.
“Ah-ha!” she yelled at long last. “But there’s this new recipe I’ve been wanting to try that requires two hours of prep work and a trip to the specialty Vietnamese store across town. So…you know…that has to get done, too.”
Haley’s mom, Isa Nunez, confirms she’s always been at her most creative when she avoids doing what she loves.
“I always knew Haley had an artistic mind,” Isa said. “She would always come up with such creative reasons why she didn’t have the time to be creative. One time, she said she couldn’t write because she hurt her ankle and I asked what that had to do with anything, and she said, ‘Creativity is a whole being, the body merely its vessel, and when the part is hurt, so, too, is the whole.’ What a beautiful turn of phrase, huh? She can really write!”
Experts report if Haley put 70% of the energy that she currently applies to avoiding her art towards doing her art, she could really get somewhere! Fingers crossed that happens soon!
