After revealing that she’s not planning to have kids in this lifetime, 27-year-old Elanna Meyes was forced to field question after question from her extended family about “who’s going to take care of her when she’s older.” The persistent interrogations from her loved ones forced Elanna to admit that she’ll just have to rely on all the money she saved by not having kids to look after her in her sunset years.
“It’s tough to admit, but I guess I’ll just have to lean on my deep savings to care for me when I’m elderly instead of children who may or may not still like me when I’m 80,” Elanna told reporters. “I’ve come to terms with it, but my family has had a harder time accepting this reality.”
Elanna’s mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, and great aunt Eileen have all expressed their unsolicited concern for Elanna’s objectively bright future.
“But who’s going to agree to drive her to her doctor’s appointment, bail at the last minute, and force her to reschedule to a time that works better for them?” Elanna’s mom asked, depressingly. “It’s a tradition passed down from generation to generation. I did it for my mom, my daughter will it for me, and, God willing, her children will do it for her.”
Elanna’s great aunt Eileen added, “What, is she just going to pay money to have a professional, caring staff schedule and drive her to her appointments when she’s older? That’s horrifying!”
Elanna said that she found her great aunt’s view of parent-child relationships a bit more horrifying than paying to be well taken care of by someone that isn’t your blood relative when you’re older.
“Money can’t put you in a subpar nursing home and then never visit!” Elanna’s dad added, ignoring her statements. “That’s what kids are for!”
Elanna explained that she didn’t realize that this was the only reason her parents had her, and kind of wished they had re-evaluated their reasons for raising children before diving straight into parenthood.
At press time, Elanna was explaining to her extremely confused parents for the fifth time that when she’s older she’ll simply rely on a paid accountant to help her with accounting matters, a paid doctor to help her with health matters, and a paid caregiver to help with caregiving matters, to which her dad replied, “But why not have your unlicensed kid who you’ve never had a good relationship with do all of that for free?”
