Instead of Pantone releasing their long-awaited Color of the Year, the company has taken this time to announce that despite your long-held assumptions, it’s not Perimenopause, because that isn’t a color, but rather a condition you will experience very soon.
Representatives from Pantone have expressed that they don’t want anyone to be confused about this.
“Despite perimenopause sounding like a cool, soothing pastel color, we really want to make ourselves clear,” Pantone CEO Lena Jarvis told reporters. “It is not the Color of the Year; it is something horrible that will happen to your body that you should be made aware of so that you’re better prepared for it in the future.”
When asked why Pantone decided to make this seemingly random statement for the public, Jarvis explained that they have decided to branch out from their normal business dealings.
“While we will still release the infamous color to the public very soon,” Jarvis said. “We want to make sure that people can tell the difference between a color and a common experience for people that will kill their sex drive, cause brain fog, night sweats, and confusion, all before the far worse experience of actual menopause.”
Jarvis added: “It is not to be confused with periwinkle, peridot, or periglacial blue.”
“I always look forward to Pantone’s new yearly color,” 31-year-old Frieda Maxwell said. “But I guess I’m glad to know that perimenopause isn’t a color and is actually something that’s going to happen to me eventually, and I should appreciate every single day where I am not experiencing it.”
At press time, the CEO of Pantone added that “osteoporosis” is also not a color.
