Woman Masterfully Spreads Three Dance Moves Across Entire Evening

While 22-year-old Brooklyn, NY resident Mia Watkins was unsure how she would maintain an appropriate amount of dancing for an entire night out with friends, she masterfully managed to spread her only three go-to dance moves across the entire evening. 


Congrats, girl! Less is more, we guess!


Sources confirmed Mia is a terrible dancer and relies heavily on her three signature moves: a little arm wave, a little hip shake, and a little jump. None of these moves are particularly good.


“When my friends first invited me out, they were adamant that it would be a three-location minimum night, just club after club after club,” Mia told reporters. “Now, that scared me.”


Mia told reporters she has never been much of a mover or a shaker and prefers to stand on the outside of the circle, bouncing and yelling, “Go! Go! Go!” When a situation really demands it, she’ll pull out the big guns: the robot she learned how to do in fourth grade. 


“As long as I make it seem like I’m doing each of these moves ironically – which I’m not – I can get away with one, maybe one and a half hours of dancing,” Mia continued. “But it was Ashley’s birthday and she said I should be prepared to ‘dance the night away.’ How was I supposed to dance for that long? I’m not exactly working with a full repertoire here.”


Mia’s roommate Charlie Hoffman confirmed that upon hearing how much dancing would be expected of her, Mia quickly ran to her room, slammed the door, and started blasting Bob Marley’s “Everything’s Gonna Be Alright.” He could hear her breathing into a bag from the room over.  


Luckily, Mia managed to intersperse her three dance moves so expertly and pepper in the perfect amount of “drink breaks” that no one noticed she was doing the same thing over and over and over. 


“It was a close one,” Mia told reporters, recounting the most harrowing moments. “But any time it felt like people were starting to notice I was doing the same moves, I’d say I had to go to the bathroom or wanted some food, and by the time I got back, they’d forgotten entirely!”



Mia credited alcohol and the fact that everyone was probably thinking more about themselves than about her, but mostly the alcohol. 


At press time, Mia was gearing up for a second consecutive night of dancing. After her stunning feat last night, she planned to get through this one by bowing out 45 minutes in, citing a family emergency or doctor’s note.