With inflation at an all-time high and climate change wreaking havoc on the planet, it’s now more important than ever before to instate better public transportation across our urban landscapes. It’s also been found that cities with better public transportation have a higher quality of life for their citizens, which is a great argument for better infrastructure for subways, light rails, trains, and buses.
However, I’ve noticed that public transportation is especially lacking between me and the person I’m fucking right now, and something needs to be done about it immediately.
It’s time to finally disrupt the longstanding car-obsessed culture of America. The U.S. currently spends four times as much on roads and highways as they do on public transit, which is why most modes of public transportation have crumbling infrastructures. Accessible stops and vehicles that show up on time are a necessity for citizens, but mostly in front of my home and the person I’m seeing right now, because I refuse to pay four separate fares just to get my back blown out.
I’m demanding all city governments to take definitive action to improve public transit if they truly value my sex life, and if anyone else is also struggling to hook up because they’re dealing with the same thing, then I suggest putting pressure on your local government to do the same.
And if you’re not going through this, then stop being a cockblock and help me, anyway.
Why should our tax dollars keep paying for highway repairs when we could invest in our subways instead? Our cities’ carbon footprints would dramatically shrink, and we’d all save money on gas, which oil companies are unnecessarily price gouging us on anyway. Plus, with the city’s focus on improving these infrastructures, it would be way easier for me to travel to have sex without having to transfer between different train lines, and I wouldn’t be as tired when I finally get to my hookup’s house.
Wake up, America.
It’s important to imagine a world where it’s possible to travel in an inexpensive, accessible, environmentally friendly, and timely way, because it is possible! We just need enough people to rally for the cause, which is me getting sucked and fucked as much as possible without it breaking the bank, or my patience while waiting for the train after it was scheduled to come 15 minutes ago.
I’m calling on all local governments to make public transportation more efficient, because no one should have to rely on a car to travel within the same city, and I also refuse to ever be stuck in a 20-minute train delay while wearing itchy lingerie again.
