Embracing your flaws is crucial if you truly want to feel comfortable in your own skin, but this wasn’t something I was always okay with doing, that is, until I realized that all of my flaws actually made my character way more developed and believable.
I’ve spent years trying to fix all of the things about myself that I thought were unappealing to others, but what I didn’t realize was that trying to suppress all of these things were probably making people say “How are we supposed to believe that she’s a real person?” and “Wow, this is so boring and unrealistic. Where’s the edge?” That’s why I stopped hiding all of my flaws once and for all. Now I don’t care if people think I’m a bad person, because even if they do, I know they’re still gonna watch to see what my next move is.
Also, just because I have my obvious shortcomings, like occasionally backstabbing the people closest to me and littering every once in a while, that doesn’t mean that I can’t have an interesting and somewhat redeemable character arc. I might learn something new and grow into a better person who doesn’t litter or sabotage their relationships, or I might spiral and start littering everyday while ruining more peoples’ lives than before. Who knows! But one thing that’s for sure is that I’m always going to be a little fucked up, because that’s what the average viewer likes to see.
It would be impossible for me to be completely perfect. Not only that, but it would also be super boring. No one wants to see that, which is why I actually like to lean into my less-than-desirable traits, especially right before something happens to me that shows just how vulnerable and traumatized I really am deep down inside (for balance).
Hannah Montana once said that “nobody’s perfect”, which is true, and also made her a believable character, despite the fact that no one ever found out she was living a double life in the show. I, however, am not living a double life, and I’ve also ghosted two different people after dating for more than a year, which makes me even more believable, and thus, a better character overall.
I think it’s safe to say that I’ll never try to hide behind the facade of being perfect again. It’s just not natural, and more importantly, it doesn’t make for good TV. However, I might still decide to change my ways in the near future — you’re just gonna have to keep watching to find out!