“Say yes to life!” It’s a common refrain, but in reality, you can only say yes to so many things before you start experiencing burnout and fatigue. You serve no one by spreading yourself too thin, least of all your own wellbeing. So after years of saying “yes” to every opportunity and demand that came my way, I finally stopped saying “yes” and started saying “ok maybe” then never following up.
My life has mostly never been the same since.
The first I learned when I started saying “ok maybe” and then blocking their number is that when I overcommitted in the past, I only ended up letting people down. When my friend from high school asked if I wanted to plan her Zoom bachelorette party because I’m “creative,” I could have said yes, but what would have happened then? I’d procrastinate, feel resentful, and inevitably under deliver on her special day. But that’s a problem for the old me.
Instead, when she made the request, I took a moment to check in with myself: Can I take this on right now? Will I put my heart into it? With both answers a resounding no, I got right to it and texted her, “Ah, sounds so fun! Not sure how much time I’ll have, but maaybe!!” then never got back to her. It was only a couple weeks of evasive responses to her follow-ups before she said, “Okay, really need to know right now so just going to have my sister do it.”
And that’s when I realized how good it feels to handle these situations more honestly and maturely.
Our “giving tree” culture demands that women take on more and more responsibility to help others, but it’s okay to acknowledge that your energy is finite. It can actually be incredibly empowering to simply put your foot down and say “mmm yeah, maybe” to things that you know for a fact you will never do. Catching up with an old friend, cleaning out the fridge, and terrible group Halloween costume pitches are all things I can now confidently say maybe to.
So listen to yourself, and try to make more conscientious decisions about when you say yes, and when you say “ok maybe” and then never follow up. Just don’t say “no” because, like, that’s a little severe. You’re worth it!
