Dating sure isn’t easy. It’s fair to say that I’ve kissed my fair share of frogs over the years. Sometimes, it feels like you can throw a stone into any pond and you’ll hit one of the little green guys that I’ve kissed.
And finally, after so many gooey, smelly kisses, it seems I’ve finally found a wonderful man who’s also comfortable with my absolute love of making out with these tiny amphibians.
And let me tell you – a good man who’s okay with you making out with frogs is hard to find.
My mom would always tell me, “Keep kissing those frogs, eventually prince charming will come along.” But it was so hard to believe that that man existed – a man who would sweep me off my feet and be okay with my regular habit of sucking frog face.
I’ve just always dreamt of a man who could accept me for me, as a heterosexual woman who also likes to dabble in frog play (and yes, the frogs were enthusiastically consenting!).
My new guy is the best. Tom is easygoing and understands all my quirks, like needing two beverages at every meal, and my penchant for late night walks along the stream where I occasionally pluck out a squishy friend to lock lips with in a passionate kiss.
It’s been a long journey to get here, and yeah I had to kiss a lot of frogs in front of dudes who were immediately grossed out by it and fled into the night. But here I am, deeply in love, and still kissing all those sexy fucking frogs.
Sometimes Tom likes to play a little game with me. He’ll see me kiss a frog and say, “Ewww, yuck, what the fuck are you doing?!” And then he’ll pause and say, “Just kidding… I think you’re hot as fuck.”
Now my lonely frog kissing days are over, and I finally have someone to enjoy a future with – a future full of more frog kissing.