There comes a time in most relationships when you know it’s time to move on. Unfortunately, you sometimes live together in an apartment where you can’t break the lease or get a roommate in a one bedroom – and naturally, it would be really dysfunctional to continue living with your ex in the same bed.
So instead of breaking up, my boyfriend and I decided to open up our relationship. Well, actually, our primary reason was the apartment stuff, but being open to ethical non-monogamy was also a pretty big factor.
So my boyfriend and I will remain a couple while we lovingly allow each other to pursue other sexual relationships. We’ve opted for a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy where we are under no obligation to share the number, frequency, or nature of our sexual relationships with one another. So long as we come home to each other and continue to pay our share of the rent, we’re fine with not controlling each other’s bodies. At least as until our landlord lets us break the lease early, hopefully.
Plus having an open relationship is fun! It’s such a nice bonus to our relationship that we get to go out and have these experiences with other people in a way that doesn’t hurt our relationship with one another, or increase our cost of living in a very expensive city.
What works about our relationship is that neither of us is really the jealous type. I don’t mind knowing that my boyfriend sleeps with other people and vice versa. So long as we’re following the boundaries of our agreement, getting regularly tested for STDs and having purely sexual relationships with others where we don’t get involved to the point that it could tempt us away from our apartment and lease. There’s still ten months left on that.
Open relationships are really about honesty and communication. And right now we’re both on the same page. We’re stuck in this lease.